The First Trimester
After a confirmed heartbeat at 6–7 weeks, your surrogate graduates from the fertility clinic to her OB. The first trimester involves regular prenatal appointments, genetic testing options (NIPT, first-trimester screening), and the gradual establishment of a normal pregnancy routine. Intended parents are often involved via shared updates and may attend key appointments if logistics allow and both parties agree.
Second Trimester: The Anatomy Scan
The anatomy scan at 18–20 weeks is typically the most significant appointment for intended parents to attend in person. This scan reviews fetal anatomy in detail and, for most pregnancies, confirms everything is developing normally. Many intended parents find this to be a deeply emotional moment. Your reproductive attorney also files for the pre-birth order during the second trimester.
Third Trimester: Preparation
As the due date approaches: confirm your pre-birth order has been filed and granted, coordinate your travel plans and hospital logistics with your surrogate, notify the hospital of the surrogacy arrangement and provide a copy of the PBO to the labor and delivery unit, and prepare your home for the baby's arrival. Discuss with your surrogate her preferences for who is in the delivery room.
Birth Day
When your surrogate goes into labor, you'll be notified. If you've discussed being present at the birth, travel to the hospital with time to spare. The birth itself proceeds like any other — your surrogate's body, her decisions, her doctors. With a PBO in place, you'll be immediately recognized as the baby's legal parents and can hold your baby right away.
Emotional Preparation
Intended parents often find the pregnancy emotionally complex: moments of tremendous joy mixed with anxiety, helplessness at being physically distant from the pregnancy, and uncertainty about how to be present without being intrusive. These feelings are normal. Many intended parents benefit from working with a therapist familiar with third-party reproduction during the pregnancy.
The pregnancy belongs to your surrogate physically — but emotionally, it's a shared experience. Communication and mutual respect throughout are what make it work.