Before You Contact an Agency
The best-prepared intended parents spend 4–8 weeks educating themselves before contacting any agency. Use this time to:
- Understand the full process from matching through birth, including the legal and medical steps
- Get honest about your budget — total costs typically range $90,000–$200,000. Know what you can realistically commit before speaking with agencies.
- Clarify your embryo situation — do you have frozen embryos ready? Will you need IVF? Will you need an egg donor, sperm donor, or both?
- Research the legal landscape — particularly which states offer the strongest legal protections for intended parents in your situation
- Consult a reproductive attorney early — before signing with any agency, speaking with a licensed reproductive attorney gives you an independent perspective on your legal situation and lets them review any agency contract before you sign
Building Your Professional Team
A surrogacy journey requires several professional relationships. Start building yours from day one:
- Surrogacy agency: Your central coordinator, surrogate screener, matcher, and case manager. Not legally required but strongly recommended for first-time intended parents.
- Reproductive attorney: Handles your GCA and parental rights. Must be experienced in the delivery state's surrogacy law.
- Fertility clinic (REI): Manages embryo creation and the surrogate's transfer cycle.
- Mental health professional: Required by most agencies and fertility clinics for both intended parents and surrogates.
- Escrow company: Manages all financial disbursements to your surrogate. Should be independent from your agency.
- Fertility insurance specialist: Evaluates your surrogate's health insurance for surrogacy coverage.
Your reproductive attorney is the single most important professional on your team. Hire the attorney first — even before choosing an agency. They can review agency contracts before you sign.
Agency vs. Independent Surrogacy
Most first-time intended parents should work with a reputable agency. Agencies provide surrogate recruitment and vetting, psychological and background screening, the matching process, case management throughout the journey, crisis support if complications arise, and established relationships with fertility clinics, attorneys, and escrow providers.
Independent surrogacy can save $25,000–$50,000 in agency fees, but transfers all coordination responsibility to you. It's appropriate for experienced intended parents or those with a trusted known surrogate.
Setting Realistic Expectations
The most important mindset shift for any intended parent: surrogacy journeys rarely go exactly to plan, and that's normal. Embryo transfers sometimes fail on the first attempt. Matching can take longer than expected. A surrogate may need to withdraw. Build emotional and financial reserves for these scenarios.