1. Plan the embryo-creation pathway
Couples may use donor eggs and sperm from one or both intended fathers. Whether to create embryos using one partner's sperm, both partners' sperm, fresh donor eggs or frozen donor eggs is a medical and personal decision to make with the fertility clinic.
2. Decide whether PGT-A is appropriate for your case
PGT-A may be discussed as part of IVF, but it should not be presented as a universal way to improve live-birth outcomes or prevent miscarriage. ASRM notes that routine PGT-A for all IVF patients has not been shown to improve cumulative live-birth outcomes, and its value for reducing miscarriage is not clear in every patient group.
3. Match with a gestational carrier
Matching should be mutual. Important topics include communication, pregnancy and birth expectations, travel, compensation structure, embryo-transfer preferences, difficult medical decisions and the relationship each side wants during and after the journey.
4. Build a state-specific legal plan
Do not choose a state based on a generic “best for LGBTQ+ families” ranking. Parentage depends on the governing statute, court procedure, delivery and residence connections, marital status, genetic relationships and other facts. A reproductive attorney should confirm the correct jurisdiction and procedure before medical treatment proceeds.
5. Negotiate the gestational-carrier agreement
The agreement should be reviewed by independent counsel for the carrier and intended parents where required or appropriate. It typically addresses compensation and expenses, insurance, medical decision-making, embryo transfer, pregnancy management, confidentiality, birth planning and parentage procedures.
6. Complete clinic clearance and embryo transfer
The clinic determines medical eligibility and the transfer protocol. Medication schedules, monitoring, timing of pregnancy testing and follow-up vary by clinic and treatment plan.
7. Prepare the parentage and birth plan
Some jurisdictions use a pre-birth process; others use post-birth or other parentage procedures. A parentage order does not automatically guarantee a particular birth-certificate format in every state, so counsel should separately confirm the vital-records process and hospital documentation.
Questions worth asking your attorney
- Which state and court have jurisdiction over our parentage proceeding?
- Does marital status or genetic relationship affect the procedure?
- When can the parentage filing occur?
- What should the hospital receive before delivery?
- How will the birth certificate be issued or amended?
- Are any additional proceedings recommended for recognition outside the delivery state or abroad?
Same-sex male couples guide · Surrogacy law by state · Legal process